Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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