Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
