I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize