I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
