I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
