I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
