unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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