I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
