Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
