You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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