No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
