He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Im part way to drunk.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
