Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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