OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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