Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
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