you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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