One girl and one boy is just not enough.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Two words: blizzard sex
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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