I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
