And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
