Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
