just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
