sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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