apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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