there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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