you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
