shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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