i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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