I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
