I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
