Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
