if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
