i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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