Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
