Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she looked like the before picture.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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