We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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