Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
