If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
