Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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