I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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