I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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