speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
The air taste purple.
Randomize
