I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
