Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
