i think my tv is drunk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
