Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
