I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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