i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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