ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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