So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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