First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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